A Father’s Hope

In the part of the world where I come from, a large number of people attach so much significance to male offsprings especially the first child. I’ve always wondered why that is the case but I never got any satisfactory response from those I asked so I stopped bothering. Or did I really stop bothering? Maybe I’m a bit bias because Didi, my five years old daughter is my first and only child. She’s a joy to behold, smart, witty and quite too humorous for her age. Those traits she undoubtedly got from Lola, her mom who passed away in excruciating circumstance during the birth of Dan, our second child. We lost him too some two months later and I’ve since then been living alone with Didi.

“Can I get my chocolates now Daddy?” Didi asked at the end of our routine high intensity Saturday workout session. “Oh yes, here it is.” I replied handing her a box of chocolates. She’s not supposed to have it except once in two weeks for obvious reasons, unnecessary weight gain. Didi is quite a character, she regularly challenges me to abdominal assaults to measure her strength. That’s usually the peak of our workout sessions and I would let her beat me sometimes to boost her psychology but she’s too smart and would take none of that. “Someday, I’ll beat you, I promise.” She’ll often blurt after an energy-sapping session. I’m so proud of her and I look forward to that day. 

Today is also different not least because it was the end of term’s prize giving day in Didi’s school and I’m excited too because she promised me that she’s coming home with at least two prizes. We got to Didi’s school early enough to get front row seats, Didi won’t trade anything for that, it’s first or nothing. We sat and watched on as other parents - too many couples - came in and took their seats too, I wish Lola was still alive. 

Sitting next to us are the Jasons, my favourite couple. Mrs Jason was a very close friend of Lola and they competed intensely for grades and academic awards during their university years, the baton undoubtedly passed on to the next generation at a very early age between Steve Jason and Didi. They both have been at the top of their classes since they started school with Steve edging out Didi more often than not. Today was however somewhat different as Didi beat Steve to the top spot and won an amazing career-high four prizes to Steve’s one. I’m sure Steve would bounce right back, the last time Didi came first, he floored her in the next three terms. A healthy competition it seem. Didi is visibly reveling in the moment and why not? Steve is a genius. 

The occasion ended and I exchanged pleasantries with some parents, teachers and a couple of kids. “I told you Daddy, I told you!” Didi screamed as she hugged me. Moments like this make me remember Lola more. But for how long? I have to move on right? It’s easier for you to say as you’re not in my shoes. 

It was time to go home and Didi and I walked towards the car park. You can see the pride on my face as other parents whispered, “That’s Didi’s Dad.” I would take it, moments like this don’t come often especially with Steve Jason in the picture. Moments before entering the car, Didi left my hand to go say hi to Pence and her parents, one of Didi’s friends in higher class. That was the worst decision of my life till date, letting her go. They were both ecstatic as they talked about Didi’s accomplishment. All the while, they stood beside a static car. Unknown to any of us, the end of Didi’s gown had been tangled with a protruding metal of the car they stood by. As the car moved, Didi was swept off the floor and she was suddenly under one of rear wheels of the car. Unknown to the driver, he went over her head and I watched on helplessly as she screamed in pain. She died immediately. I stood there in horror wishing I hadn’t let go of her hands in the first place. I wish she was sick and we didn’t attend the occasion at all. So many different thoughts of how I could have saved her keep occurring to me. I can’t believe my fate but I’ve lost the three most important people in my life in the past three years. Didi’s case is the worst of them all, she has been my strength over the past years. I remember her knocking on my door in the middle of one night when she heard me crying and told me to stop acting as a child. I would never forget that night. I’ve always looked up to her, she’s so strong and I talk to her about almost everything. Why is life so unfair to me? Why do bad things happen to good people? Can I ever move on from this? These are questions that popped into my head as I stared at her lifeless body. 

“Daddy! Daddy! It’s time for our weekend workout session.” I heard Didi screaming at my door as I came alive. Ooops! That was one hell of a horrible dream. A narrow escape. “Five minutes please.” I said to her as I rubbed my eyes heading to the bathroom hardly believing my luck. 

Would you excuse me now? It’s time for my workout session with my cute lovely Didi.