Someone Else is Worse off

Right there. You’ve heard it before. Not once, not twice, but countless times that regardless of how tough you find it, someone else is going through worse. While those words carry some elements of truth, the larger picture is quite disturbing. They resonate loudly in the deepest parts of our minds thereby creating a multiplier effect on our subconsciousness.  

 

To begin with, no two individuals are the same (sorry to bore you with what you already know) and that makes it almost impossible to create a universally acceptable measure for strength or pain threshold. 

The term ‘worse’ in itself is relative in its entirety. I mean, how do you decide which is a worse case in two entirely contrasting scenarios (I deliberately gave you the lead)? Even in the same conditions, there exist a myriad of details that are more than enough to make a significant difference (you feel me?).

How about the multiplier effect on our subconsciousness highlighted earlier? It teaches us to accept that our personal struggles are insignificant, we, therefore, should dismiss them because ‘someone else has it worse’. It paints a troubling picture in our minds, of a magical cure taking away all the pain because you know that you’re somewhere in the middle of the chain, not at the lower end. It throws on our faces the ridiculous notion that we’re strong and should be able to weather the storm regardless of our state of minds and - most importantly - backgrounds. 

I’m part of a select few who subscribe to a contrary belief system. One that advocates a liberating tenet, a complete consciousness of our struggles. Being aware (and ultimately fighting through) is equally as important as acknowledging the fact that it may – truly – be worse somewhere else. The fact that someone else is going through a rougher spell doesn’t automatically absolve me from mine. We would hurt ourselves more by clinging onto that emotionally dismissive belief system. 

Tell me anything I need to get better, tell me it’s okay to cry, tell me I need to try new things, meet new people, read new books, visit new places or find entirely new adventures. Anything, just anything that would soothe the pain. 

Just don’t tell me that ‘someone else has it worse’.